What does your bartender think of you? I came across this blog today on Are You Wearing My Pants written by an experienced dispenser of firewater. This is funny stuff. Then I opened yesterday’s mail (sounds like a euphemism for something) and found a handcrafted mix CD of drinking songs featuring the likes of The Avett Brothers, Loretta Lynn, The Pogues, Minutemen, and The Replacements. And so we seem to have found a theme to groove on today. Here is an excerpt from the blog and a podcast version of the CD for your pleasure.
Stella: You are foreign.. or are trying to appear to be.
Heineken: You are black.. or are trying to appear to be.
Malibu & Coke: You vomit easily.
Vodka Cran: You don’t know what you want in life, or at this bar.
Patron: Danger. I am adding gratuity to your check.
Margarita: Anyone who drinks sour mix from a spray gun is an amateur, or underage.
Gin & Tonic: $$$
Vodka & Tonic: We could be friends.
Long Island Ice Tea: You just broke up with your boyfriend and have chosen tonight as the night you will “move on”.
Foreign Beer: You are on a 2nd or 3rd date, trying to impress the girl with your cultured taste for Turkish pilsner.
Cosmo: For the love of God, hurry up and finish the 6th season of Sex & The City.
Red Bull & Vodka: You are an asshole.
Pino Grigio: You are approaching menopause faster than you think.
Pino Noir: You don’t really go to bars.
Moscato: You listen to too much rap.
Gran Marnier: What are you doing here?
Scotch: You will probably tip me well and tell me I remind me of your daughter after you check out my bum.
Vodka Martini: You had a serious day at work, or you are a functional alcoholic.
Whiskey: You are cool. If you try to get my number I won’t be too offended.
Bud Light: You are driving.
Budweiser: You are driving drunk.
Old Red Eyes Is Back Mix CD (click to listen)