Old Red Eyes Is Back

What does your bartender think of you? I came across this blog today on Are You Wearing My Pants written by an experienced dispenser of firewater. This is funny stuff. Then I opened yesterday’s mail (sounds like a euphemism for something) and found a handcrafted mix CD of drinking songs featuring the likes of The Avett Brothers, Loretta Lynn, The Pogues, Minutemen, and The Replacements.  And so we seem to have found a theme to groove on today. Here is an excerpt from the blog and a podcast version of the CD for your pleasure.

Stella: You are foreign.. or are trying to appear to be.

Heineken: You are black.. or are trying to appear to be.

Malibu & Coke: You vomit easily.

Vodka Cran: You don’t know what you want in life, or at this bar.

Patron: Danger. I am adding gratuity to your check.

Margarita: Anyone who drinks sour mix from a spray gun is an amateur, or underage.

Gin & Tonic: $$$

Vodka & Tonic: We could be friends.

Long Island Ice Tea: You just broke up with your boyfriend and have chosen tonight as the night you will “move on”.

Foreign Beer: You are on a 2nd or 3rd date, trying to impress the girl with your cultured taste for Turkish pilsner.

Cosmo: For the love of God, hurry up and finish the 6th season of Sex & The City.

Red Bull & Vodka: You are an asshole.

Pino Grigio: You are approaching menopause faster than you think.

Pino Noir: You don’t really go to bars.

Moscato: You listen to too much rap.

Gran Marnier: What are you doing here?

Scotch: You will probably tip me well and tell me I remind me of your daughter after you check out my bum.

Vodka Martini: You had a serious day at work, or you are a functional alcoholic.

Whiskey: You are cool. If you try to get my number I won’t be too offended.

Bud Light: You are driving.

Budweiser: You are driving drunk.

Old Red Eyes Is Back Mix CD (click to listen)